“Catch Me Daddy…”
By
Dr. Ab Abercrombie
Recently I was startled by my daughter’s fourteen-year-old
frame, voice, and attitude. When exactly did my “baby” become
this burgeoning young woman? Sarah’s unbalanced “toddle” has
been replaced by a determined, self-directed gait. Her moments
of uncertainty and hesitation have long yielded to a spirited
confidence and an independent mind. And her ready compliance
to her father’s authority now struggles, resists, and even
rebels, as she tries to work out who she is and where she is
headed.
I love her energy, zest, and spirit for life. I am grateful
for her poise. But I would be less than truthful if I said I
didn’t miss the soft, submissive two-year-old who held
tightly to my finger as we walked down the street; who called
for me when she was unsure; who trusted every word I spoke as
truth and brilliance; and who believed Daddy could do anything!
So many times we played together in the bay behind our house
as she freely explored the water, fish, and hermit crabs. Hundreds
of times she stood on the pier and shouted, “Catch
me Daddy” as she jumped into the water, supported
and protected by my waiting arms. I am proud to report that I
never dropped her, not even once! She was fearless because I
was there, overseeing her every move. I was vigilant in my watch
for anything that would harm her, and she knew she was safe in
my care.
Today, as a burgeoning adolescent, Sarah is sure that she is
safe in her own care and that my abilities have been
previously overrated! It’s a struggle watching my baby
grow up…painful really! Sometimes it is especially difficult
when I know she needs me, but refuses to call. As a teen her
signals are harder to read. Instead of asking permission, she
asks for forgiveness; instead of seeking my approval, she demands
my agreement; and rather than “holding tight” she
is “pulling free”. But in the midst of all the turmoil
and confusion, if I listen really hard, I can still hear her
cry: “Catch me Daddy.”
I can relate to Sarah’s difficulty with human development.
It isn’t easy growing up, being responsible, and balancing
what she has been taught against the impulses that drive her
toward self-proclaimed autonomy. In the end I pray that I allow
her enough room to be tested; enough space to make errors; and
enough time to correct her mis-steps. She has a solid foundation
of dependency, trust, love, and truth. It’s all in there
just waiting for some supernatural assimilation, as her human
development works to merge with her Christian development.
That is the challenge of the Christian home: promoting godly
dependence while supporting human independence. But striking
that balance between release and protection is the fight of the
ages. In truth, so much begins with the structure and foundation
we provide in the earlier years. The Bible is clear that the “ground
floor” determines the strength of future construction:
Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it (Prov.
22:6 NASB).
The Hebrew phrase “train up” also means to “dedicate.” To
train our children is to dedicate them to the Lord so that His
work, His will, and His plan for their lives may be realized.
As parents we often fail to separate from our children due to
our fears and lack of submission to God. If we dedicate our children
to His care, while teaching them His Word and His methods, then
we must act with trust that our Heavenly Father can complete
everything He ordained. Paul wrote of God’s faithfulness
to the Philippian Church:
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began
a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ
Jesus (Phil. 1:6 NASB).
If we as parents have been faithful to lay a foundation that
is dedicated to God, wouldn’t God be faithful to finish
what now is beyond our capability? While we are entrusted with
our children for a season, and while we are called to raise them
in the truth, they do not ultimately belong to us. Only our Father
in Heaven can deposit, through His Spirit, the character and
learning necessary to perfect (complete) the growth of our little
ones.
This doesn’t mean that at a certain age we claim our job
is finished and the rest is “up to God!” Even as
Sarah moves deliberately forward, she still needs the reassurance
of a strong voice, a consistent hand, and an unwavering love.
She still needs her Daddy, even if she doesn’t ask in the
same way, or yield with the same enthusiasm.
No matter her age, she will always rely upon my presence and
the foundation laid in those earliest of times together. Clearly
there remain opportunities for boundary, discipline, affection,
and instruction. But increasingly, there is the necessity to
wait, observe, and allow her to find and develop her own relationship
with, and response to, the Holy Spirit. We are tasked with building
a godly foundation, but we cannot ultimately control the choices,
the rebellion, or the yielding of our children that inevitably
will come as they work out their Christian walk.
It’s hard to imagine, but my daughter will probably make
some good choices and some bad ones. She will sometimes submit
and sometimes go to battle with the God of the Universe. She
might challenge her faith, question the truth, and wrestle with
the world. Hopefully, she will waiver very little from the structure
and guide she has been provided. In the end, my influence will
lessen but God’s voice will endure.
Gratefully, the Lord knows our frailty and struggle. Like any
good parent, He promises to wait on the edge of our demise, ready
to pull us close in our time of need, even when we, or in this
case our children, have created the mess ourselves. Jesus, as
the Good Shepherd, assures us:
“My sheep hear My voice,
and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal
life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch
them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to
Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out
of My Father’s hand” (John 10:27-29, NKJV).
As a born-again, child of God, Sarah will never have to question
the security of her eternity. But even in this life, she has
the promise of an ever-present, ever-loving Father who is perfect
and strong where her earthly father is human and weak. Once she
saw me as infallible and invincible; but that curtain of truth
has long been lifted. Already she knows my strengths and my vulnerabilities;
and she knows that ultimately her security comes from above.
But as much as Sarah can count on the “grip” of
Jesus, so can the Christian parent. We can take great comfort
in knowing that where the strength of our hand falls short, the
potency of the Lord’s is absolute. In the dedication of
our child; in the determination to train them in the “way
they should go”; we find the capacity to release them into
His secure and mighty hand, knowing that no one can ever “snatch” them
away. To a parent watching a child grow taller and more distant,
this is a great source of peace.
I pray that Sarah continues to grow, acquires an education,
marries a godly man, and has a bunch of grandbabies; I pray that
she never strays from the truth she has been taught; I pray that
her life will be one of service and obedience to the Kingdom
of God. I pray that I have been a good man, a godly father, and
a consistent, trusted, protector and teacher.
But as much as I have trained her up, I pray now for strength
to confirm her dedication to the Lord, allowing Him to work as
only He can. It can be a great joy to watch as God takes His
raw material and creates in Sarah His intended purpose for her
life, forged at the foundation of the world.
Growth is a good thing. We have to grow as human beings and
we can’t stand still as Christians. But true Christian
growth produces confidence in the Father, not in ourselves. It
is His hand that is strong, His wisdom that is true, and His
love that is perfect. Thankfully Sarah is His and he will “catch” her
every time.
Copyright © 2005, Dr. W.P. “Ab” Abercrombie.
This article first appeared in Evangel Magazine, June 2006.
