HUSBAND: THE HIGH CALLING OF GOD
By
Dr. Ab Abercrombie
After decades of “wise” instruction from the likes
of Sigmund Freud, Hugh Hefner, and Dr. Phil, we men should have
ourselves, and our relationships, figured out. But for all of
their theories and speculations, the world’s authority
comes down to one basic belief: Focus on self matters more than
the selfless attention to our wives and children.
Yet, divorce rates continue to rise, infidelity is rampant,
fatherless homes are the norm, and the use of psychiatric medications
for daily functioning has skyrocketed. The problem may not be
the availability of information, but rather the reliability of
its wisdom.
The Bible tells us; “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness
with God” (1 Cor. 3:19). Men, we must be very careful in
choosing our sources of guidance.
God’s Word is the only source of truth, that when applied,
makes perfect, useful sense. As evidence of this promise, we
need only look at God’s most basic instruction to the husband
found in Ephesians 5:25:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved
the church and gave Himself for her.”
This Scripture is a powerful calling. It is an instruction to
minister to our homes as Christ ministered to the church. If
we are to love as Jesus loved, then we are to be close and active,
not distant and passive. There was nothing passive about our
Lord’s love to us.
Jesus touched (Matt. 8:1-3); He healed (Matt. 14:14); He instructed
(Mark 10:1); He provided (Mark 6:37-44); He prayed (John 17:13-21);
He forgave (Matt. 9:2): He resisted temptation (Heb. 4:15); He
served (Mark 10:45) and finally, He sacrificed all (John 19:30).
Using our Savior as the template of comparison, allow me to
inquire:
- Do you touch your wife as Jesus touched? His touch was filled
with understanding and compassion. It was a touch that gave
but did not take. Touching your wife physically in this way
assures her of your commitment and love for her (2 Cor. 1:3-4).
- When your wife is in pain, do you promote healing? Our wives
need to know they can bring their injuries and needs to us.
They need us to be engaged, interested, and invested in reestablishing
their peace (Gal. 6:2).
- As the Spiritual Leader of the home, is your study of God’s
Word faithful, so that you can instruct and encourage your
wife? A man cannot feed others unless he is fed. Your fervent
attention to learning the Bible will allow you to lead your
family from a Christian worldview and will transform not only
your message, but your heart (Heb. 4:12).
- Are you providing for your family’s financial needs
and security? So many families today are overburdened by debt
and commitments beyond their means, creating tremendous stress.
Financial problems are cited as the second leading cause of
divorce. Fiscal responsibility and leadership from the husband
is central to protecting the home (1 Tim. 5:8).
- Are you in prayer for your wife and with your wife? Do you
make it a priority to lift her needs to God and to share the
intimacy of prayer together? Research tells us that less than
1% of couples who regularly pray together, get divorced (James
5:16).
- Do you forgive as Christ forgave? Can you resolve and release
the issues that divide you, or do you harbor them in your heart,
allowing anger and sin to take root? Studies tell us that the
capacity to forgive is fundamental to the maintenance of good
healthy relationships (Eph. 4:26-27).
- When temptation comes, what do you do? “A little
leaven leavens the whole lump” (Gal. 5:9).This
means that there is no safe level of thought or deed when
it comes to sin. Boundaries are essential if we are to preserve
the marital covenant. We must actively pursue God’s
cover and protection for our homes, on a daily basis (Eph.
6:10-18).
- How do you serve your bride? Whether in small matters or
large, serving our wives is one of the foremost ways to demonstrate
honor. It expresses consideration, it defines her as valuable,
and it produces a climate of mutual respect and loyalty. Do
something unexpected that reminds her of her precious place
in your life (John 13:14-15).
- Finally, is your love sacrificial? Jesus gave everything
for those entrusted to His care and husbands are called to
do the same (Luke 9:23). What can you sacrifice today that
will bless your wife? Time at work; hours at the T.V.; attitudes
or ambitions; behaviors or habits. If it limits or injures
the marriage, it needs to go.
God’s Word and instructions are perfect. Husbands are
not. But if we cling to His truth, He will bless our obedience. “…just
as Christ also loved the church”: No clearer instruction,
no higher call.
Copyright © 2004, Dr. W.P. “Ab” Abercrombie.
This article first appeared in LifeLine Journal, December 2004.
